• Why are #queer people so mean to each other? | Xtra

    Small perceived betrayals are, to our animal bodies, indistinguishable from all the many betrayals and abuses of the past. Our friends and loved ones who disappoint us become untrustworthy in our eyes, dangerous; we regress mentally to those moments in childhood when we were made to feel helpless and unworthy of love. Here it is again. Yet another example of how no one can be trusted. How could we not be enraged? How could we not lash out, demand punishment and shunning, try to get rid of the ones who have hurt us? We learned our lessons well when we were young. Punishment is the only way to make people learn. When someone has been too bad, then we have to get rid of them in order to be safe. 

    Our trauma thinking is not bad or evil. On the contrary, it is very good — it has allowed us to survive the unthinkable. My point here is not that we need to get rid of our #trauma survival strategies, or to doubt our own bodies, but that perhaps we might need to stop thinking of our trauma as individual and see it as collective. So that we are not suffering alone in our trauma, a community comprised of “one-against-the-world” thinking, but rather community based on “healing together.”

    via https://twitter.com/MarguerinLDN/status/1171732082688761859