• Slayer, Striker, Shooter and the Rise of the Extreme Baby Boy Name
    https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/extreme-boys-names


    Parents tend to be more conservative about naming baby boys. But when they do get creative, they turn them into throat-ripping action heroes

    Is there a better way to change everything about your life than by changing your name? Because while it might not completely erase your circumstances, it definitely allows for a new you, if in name only. So this week, we’re looking at what’s in a new name — for yourself, for your favorite TV characters, for your boat, for your stripper, for your son and for nearly everybody (and thing) in between.

    In a recent article for the Guardian titled “I’m No Jaxon or Albie. But a Boring Name Has Its Own Rewards,” novelist Andrew Martin weighs the pros and cons of having a common, unimaginative name. On the one hand, it’s simple and well-liked. On the other, he’s constantly confused for other people in his trade, can’t think up an original username or password for the life of him, and by his calculations would be earning “at least 20 percent more” if his name were “interesting, or even memorable.”

    But alas, he’s but one drop of water in an endless ocean of other similarly named Andrews and an unfortunate byproduct of the centuries-long tradition of giving boys names so drab and quotidian that they border on the anonymous.

    Meanwhile, girls can be named after any person, place or thing, and the more unique, the better. Recently, there’s been a surge in female babies being named things like Echo, Victory and Ireland, and the girls’ names coming out of Hollywood are even more flamboyant. We all know Beyoncé’s daughter Blue Ivy, but have you met Hilary Duff’s spawn Banks Violet Bair, Cardi B’s Kulture Kiari Cephus or Kylie Jenner’s mononymous child accessory Stormi?

    Whereas it’s rare to see boys with more expressive names that set them apart, it’s normal — expected, even — to see girls with names or spellings that make them stand out (lookin’ at you, Maddisyn). Laura Wattenberg, a naming expert and self-proclaimed “Baby Name Wizard” who combs through annals of Social Security Administration (SSA) data to suss out naming trends, says the most popular “unique” girls’ names in recent years have been Genesis, Serenity, Heavenly, Promise, Legacy, Treasure and Egypt. Basically, she says, if it’s a word, it can — and will be — a girl’s name.

    By contrast, expressive naming practices don’t seem to apply to baby boys at all. According to research from the SSA, parents are three times more likely to give girls “unusual” names than they are boys, a phenomenon often referred to by naming experts as the “originality gap.” The result of this gap is hordes of boys named Andrew. And Greg, and Michael, and Matt, Sam, Mark, Chris and Ryan — humble, simple and inoffensive names that convey neither the expressiveness nor poetry of feminine monikers like Eden, Phoenix or Diva Muffin, the label Frank Zappa so kindly applied to his daughter.

    “For most of recent history, Western boys have been given drab, biblically informed names like Brian, John or Nicholas,” says Matthew Hahn, a professor of biology and informatics at the University of Indiana who co-authored a 2003 study comparing baby name trends to evolutionary models. “In general, they’ve been nowhere near as ‘creative.’” They’ve also been extremely patriarchal — it’s an honor to be named after the (male) head honcho of your family, and first-born boys are particularly prone to being gifted with grandpa’s nominative legacy.

    To Hahn, the most obvious explanation for this is that people are much more aware of the expectations around the masculinity of their male children. “They know that boys get teased a lot more by their peers, certainly about those things, and they’re afraid of making their boy child the object of derision,” he says. “No parent wants their kid to be made fun of on the playground.” In a way, he says, there’s a perceived “safety” in giving your boy a boring name.

    Of course, it’s not just young boys who are bullied for having “creative” names. “Anyone who’s different in any way can be targeted,” says Barbara Coloroso, a parenting, bullying and teaching expert who specializes in nonviolent conflict resolution. “It’s girls, kids from a different country or culture or anyone whose name sets them apart.” Though, she admits, she has seen plenty of boys get picked on for having unusual or feminine names. “There does seem to be a lot less variation in boys’ names, especially in white, more middle-class areas.”

    But that’s all changing. According Wattenberg, a new breed of rugged, hyper-macho and blatantly “action-oriented” names for boys has exploded in popularity in recent years, and their inventiveness is starting to match the creativity and expressiveness that girls names have always enjoyed. Combing through pages of recent Social Security Administration data, she found that the usage of “doer” names like Racer, Trooper and Charger have risen more than 1,000 percent between 1980 and 2000, and have increased exponentially ever since.
    Laura Wattenberg’s “doer name” data from Namerology

    In a recent Namerology article on the topic, she lists several of the burlier, more aggressive names that have been picking up steam: Angler, Camper, Tracker, Trapper, Catcher, Driver, Fielder, Racer, Sailor, Striker, Wheeler — deep breath — Breaker, Roper, Trotter, Wrangler — still going — Lancer, Shooter, Slayer, Soldier, Tracer, Trooper — wait, “Slayer”? — Blazer, Brewer, Charger, Dodger, Laker, Pacer, Packer, Raider, Ranger, Steeler, Warrior — kill me — Dreamer, Jester and — wait for it — Rocker.

    The majority of these names take inspiration from stereotypically “masculine” interests, but while they might seem modern — no one’s grandpa is named Rocker — they’re actually not. According to Wattenberg, these hyper-masculine boys’ names were spawned from the primordial ooze of 1990s-era Britain during a time she calls the “great surname boom.”

    Whereas most surnames were family names passed down through generations, the boom inspired Brits to start DIY-ing their own last names, and it was the snappier ones — particularly ones ending in “-er” — that became popular, in part due to how “active” they sounded. Most of the “doer” names started out as obsolete occupational names like Tucker or Spenser, but a few, like Hunter and Rider (which, it should be pointed out, are the first names of Guy Fieri’s sons) packed the punch of what she calls a more “energetic avocation.”

    “The result,” she writes, “was a two-fer.” You got the zippy style of a self-made surname and the roundhouse throat-punch of a vigorous action-name, a killer combo which sent the popularity of brawny last names like Saylor and Stryker soaring. Eventually, she says, last names became first names, and soon, any doer name became fair game, especially for boys. And though they’d previously been conservative and biblical in their naming habits, parents began naming their wriggly, fat-headed little boy babies after pretty much anything you’d see during a Super Bowl halftime commercial: rugged SUVs, lethal combat positions, and you guessed it, condoms (apparently, the names “Magnum” and “Maxx” are gaining popularity, the extra “x” in the latter signifying a next-level extremeness never before seen in tiny, blubbering male humanoids too young and cartilaginous to understand just how much extra beer that means they’re going to have to shotgun at parties).

    For today’s parents, it seems the more aggressive and bloodthirsty the name, the better. Wattenberg’s research found that 47 boys were named “Raider” in 2018, and “Hunter” tops the brawny baby charts as the country’s most popular hypermasculine name. According to Hahn, names like these give parents a way to be creative without breaking the masculinity mold. They’re expressive, vivid and undeniably unique, but they’re also pulsating with testosterone and so certifiably burly that he suspects some parents are using them as anti-bullying shields. “Who’s going to make fun of Striker?” he says. By the same token, names like “Shooter,” “Gunner” or “Slayer” seem particularly resistant to playground taunting.

    Wattenberg agrees that this might be intentional. “When parents choose names that sound like an automatic weapon, a condom or a skateboard, they’re saying something about who they hope their child becomes,” says Wattenberg. “Judging by some of the names I’ve been seeing, they want an action hero.” The practice of naming a kid based on who you hope they become falls under the umbrella of what’s called nominative determinism, a hypothesis that examines the degree to which someone’s name influences the course they take in life. Though there’s limited evidence that names dictate reality — i.e., not all Bakers are bakers — Hahn suspects that many parents name their children with the subconscious hope that they live up to their name, but without thinking about the effect that’ll have on them as they mature. “That’s a lot of pressure to put on kids,” he says. “Imagine being named Racer. You could never get away with being slow!”

    It’s also possible, he says, that the action-name trend for boys is a backlash to the evolving definition of masculinity. As the concept of masculinity evolves into something more dynamic, personal and sensitive than the John Wayne stereotype of the past, groups of conservationist parents are staking a claim on the increasingly endangered species of traditional manhood by naming their children after the most stereotypically masculine things possible. “It could be a backlash to changing norms around what it means to be a man, and a staking of a position about masculinity and traditional values,” he suggests.

    In any case, there’s little question about the message that these Vin Diesel-y boys’ names send: It’s okay for females to be expressive, unique and even androgynous, but it’s only okay for males to be so if what they’re expressing is brute-force testosterone that rains down from the heavens while a muscle-y football player shreds out Kenny Loggins’ “Danger Zone” on an electric guitar in front of a massive poster of tits and ice-cold beer. So even though boys names have become light-years more expressive than they used to be, they’re still upholding the aggressive, active and power-based ideals of traditional masculinity, perhaps even more so than the wearisome but undeniably guy-flavored “Andrew.”

    Coloroso’s not timid about how far-reaching an effect she believes this can have. “The impact of how much linguistics, semantics and names can influence beliefs and behaviors can’t be understated,” she says. “When you start to categorize names as either masculine or feminine, or you give a child a name that can only be one of those things, what you’re really doing is reinforcing gender stereotypes,” she says. “That’s a slippery slope. Stereotyping can lead to prejudice, which can, in turn, lead to intolerance, bigotry and hate.”

    This isn’t just true for masculine and feminine-sounding names, of course: Any name that falls outside the range of what’s “normal” for white, middle-class America can be used as a tool to otherize and promote hate. Ethnic names are particularly subject to this, and as Coloroso notes in her upcoming book about genocide — an admitted topical stretch for a parenting and early education expert — it’s a “short walk” from hateful rhetoric to tragedy.

    That’s not to say parents who dub their kid “Trooper” are intentionally propagating gender roles — or more broadly, bigotry — with their macho name choices, though. It’s doubtful they even breach that territory when thinking about names; they’re likely just trying to think of something familiar and fun. “The kind of parents that name their son ‘Magnum’ aren’t necessarily reacting to philosophical shifts or trends in gender roles,” Wattenberg says. “The names parents choose are usually just a reflection of their culture and values.” Still, it’s interesting to note how those choices both reflect and enforce the norms that confine people to a limited style of expression.

    At the same time, it would be remiss not to note the bajillions of exceptions to this trend. While baby names can be indicative of larger cultural beliefs and social systems that promote stereotypes and inequality, they’re not necessarily prescriptive on an individual level. You can be named Charger, and turn out to be a gentle, Prius-driving, gender anarchist. At the same time, you can have a dull-boy name like Greg and be the most creative, expressive person in your hemisphere. And you can be named Crescent Bongwater and have the personality of an expired Saltine cracker.

    It’s less about the name itself and more about who wears it. But still, here’s to hoping all the “Slayers” of the world don’t live up to theirs.

    #prénom #féminicide #backlash #culture_du_viol

    • To Hahn, the most obvious explanation for this is that people are much more aware of the expectations around the masculinity of their male children. “They know that boys get teased a lot more by their peers, certainly about those things, and they’re afraid of making their boy child the object of derision,” he says. “No parent wants their kid to be made fun of on the playground.” In a way, he says, there’s a perceived “safety” in giving your boy a boring name.

      Si les parents ne veulent pas risqué que leurs fils soit tourné en dérision, si les parents ne veulent pas que leur fils soient taquiné, harcelé ou dévalorisé à cause de son prénom, cette préoccupation n’est pas valable pour les filles. Pour les filles les parents s’en fichent globalement qu’elle soit tourné en ridicule, harcelé, dévalorisés... Les parents leur donne des noms d’objets pour qu’elles soient traité comme des objets.

      Ca me fait pensé à une remarque de Titiou Lecoq sur son fils et la pression qu’elle se met sur son role de mère dans son education. Elle dit que c’est comme si elle risquait de changer son génial fiston en tueur psychopathe si elle ratait un truc. Elle dit bien que c’est une vision caricaturale, mais c’est le cliché qu’elle a identifié comme sa peur d’être une mauvaise mère.

      Génie, c’est un mot qui n’existe pas au féminin car le génie est un individu qui as marqué son époque mais aussi d’autres époques que la sienne, or les femmes peuvent marqué leur époque mais elles sont effacées de l’histoire, le génie leur est structurellement inaccessible car on leur interdit de marqué d’autres époques que la leur. Pour les psychopathes, les clichés autour des serial killers mettent toujours le role de la mère en avant comme origine de la pathologie des tueurs (meme si cela est discutable puisque les tueurs en série sont souvent fils de militaires et de flics mais ca se fait pas de le dire). A cela s’ajoute que les tueurs psychopathes sont souvent associé à de grands QI mais c’est encore une fois une déformation patriarcale, car il est génial en patriarchie de tuer des quantité de femmes dans des conditions atroces. Jack l’éventreur correspond à la définition du génie, il a marqué au dela de son époque et constitue le model des tueurs en série. Les femmes tueuses psychopathes sont par contre un peu moin rare que les femmes génies mais il n’y en a pas beaucoup et les tueuses en série ne sont pas qualifiés de génies. Il n’y en a de toute façon pas assez pour que les mères aient peur que leurs filles géniales deviennent des serial tueuses psychopathes si elles n’ont pas été bien élévés. Je me suis demandé quels sont les craintes des mères par rapport à leurs filles, car j’ai du mal à croire que les mères aient peur que leurs filles deviennent des tueuses psychopathes si elles n’arrivent pas à devenir les génies qu’elles sont. Je pense que les mères vis à vis de leurs filles sont toujours dans la dichotomie maman-putain. Elle ne veulent pas que leurs filles soient violés ou/et cognés par leur compagnon/clients et/ou qu’elles n’aient pas d’enfants et elles espèrent simplement qu’elles aient un boulot décent pas trop sous payé...

      Les filles on peu leur donner des noms de sexes de plantes qui attendent qu’on les butinent. Des sexes de plante qu’on coupe pour les mettre dans des vases pour faire jolie et sentir bon dans la demeure d’un dominant. Pour les garçons la nouvelle mode c’est de leur donner des noms de tueurs psychopathes comme ca ils pourrons s’amuser à arracher les pétales des fleurs qui tomberons entre leurs mains. « Je t’aime, un peu, à la folie, passionnément, à mort »...
      #éducation #amour #maternité #famille #féminicide #domination_masculine #sexisme #fleur #génie

      edit - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gZkLhGDO84s


      Les mères dans les films d’horreur - Maternité et grossesse

      Comment sont représentées les mères dans les films d’horreur ?
      Et si l’analyse de ces personnages, terrifiants ou protecteurs, nous permettait de voir toutes les attentes sociales envers la maternité, ce qu’elle incarne et ce qu’elle est réellement.

      La filmographie se trouve dans le générique final !
      Avertissement : Si vous n’êtes pas à l’aise avec la violence ou la sexualité, cette vidéo peut vous déranger.

  • How Much Money Do Parking Lots Actually Make?
    https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/how-much-money-do-parking-lots-actually-make

    That little asphalt lot in the middle of a downtown block is a goldmine — but not for the reasons you might think

    Paid parking lots: Those slabs of asphalt in the middle of cities with narrow spaces and often extortionate rates are pretty much a necessary evil if you own a car and spend any time in the city. But what’s their side of it like? Why even run a parking lot on a piece of urban land instead of building, like, an actual building? Are they goldmines, or what? What are their costs like?

    Alongside Keith Bawolek, a real-estate expert who says he’s been involved in over a billion dollars in parking lot deals all over the country (and, we imagine, has a nice parking spot for himself), we’re going to try and find the perfect space to explain.
    First things first: Why would someone who owns land in a city put a parking lot on it instead of an outrageously overpriced apartment block or whatever?

    Oftentimes, surface parking lots are a long-term play, according to Bawolek. Someone buys the land… and waits. Maybe the land is currently a few blocks from the action and still a bit, for lack of a better word, undesirable. They’ll wait for gentrification to creep closer, block by block. Maybe there are proposals for a stadium, arena or convention center to be built nearby. “To be in the path of future development,” is how Bawolek puts it.

    Whatever the case, the owner is betting on the future value of the land. So the idea is to swoop it up now and cover their costs until it’s worth it to build condos, an apartment building, an office tower or whatever else.

    This is happening in every city, by the way. “There are cranes up in places like Cincinnati and Milwaukee,” says Bawolek. There’s simply lots more urban living than there was even 10 years ago and running a surface parking lot is like putting your quarter on the arcade machine until it makes financial sense to build that building.
    How do they cover their costs?

    By leasing the land to a parking-lot operator. As long as the property tax on the land is paid for by leasing it, a parking lot is a good temporary use of the property, and can maybe even earn the landowner a little profit. For one thing, they obviously leave a tiny footprint: When the time is right to build on the land, all they have to do is tear up the asphalt and remove the little electronic gates, chain fences and orange cones. And cities are in need of parking lots: There are huge fluxes of people into cities every day, for different reasons — work, dining, entertainment, personal stuff, you name it.

    So how much does a parking lot make?

    It’s extremely hard to give numbers because they’re all so different. But it’s pretty easy to figure how much one near the baseball stadium will make on game day when parking costs, say, $50, and you see that it has 30 spots or whatever.
    Are they goldmines, then?

    Bawolek calls paid parking lots “reasonably profitable,” bearing in mind all the variables, the main one of which is the old real-estate saw — location, location, etc. “Two exact garages three blocks apart in the same city could have two completely different operating incomes because of who’s parking there,” he says.
    What kinds of expenses do they have?

    Not many! Whereas in the old days you’d have a guy in a folding chair with a coffee can collecting fees, nowadays it’s as automated as possible. Maybe it’s the type where you pull a ticket when you drive in, then pay your fee at a pay-on-foot machine before you return to your car. Or you pay at the exit. Or pay via app. The goal for an operator is to cut costs as much as possible. Which, in the 21st century, we all realize technology is great at doing.

    But for certain lots, that’s not possible. Think about fancy-hotel parking lot operators: They pay for the wages (and perhaps benefits) of valets to drive your car away for you, and they also pay high insurance premiums, Bawolek says, to cover their asses if they accidentally hired valets like the ones in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.

    Do parking lots get specifically taxed for anything?

    It’s usually up to individual cities, but yes, many cities have a specific “parking tax” (of course they do). Here’s a look at the city of Chicago’s parking tax rates, as an example.
    Are there any laws governing the amount a parking lot can charge?

    Sorry, Bawolek says no. The market really dictates what a lot can reasonably (ha!) charge. Much depends on who’s parking there, and again, where it’s located. Is it office worker bees? Minimum-wage employees? Sports fans? Concert goers? The local parking-lot economy is at the mercy of the essential economic forces: supply and demand. “Because at a certain point you can’t be 50 bucks and everyone else around you is 20,” Bawolek points out.
    What’s the perfect parking lot like?

    “Ideally, during Monday through Friday you have daily office parkers,” Bawolek says. “At night maybe you have the residential that’s in the area, and some activity like theaters. And then on the weekends, you have theaters and sporting events.” If the whole process is automated, all the better (for the parking lot operator, that is).

    Bear in mind, though, an ideal lot wouldn’t be full of only office workers. They’re parked there all day! Ideally you get shoppers, who turn over their parking spot every hour or two.
    So is this a cutthroat environment, or what?

    Oh yeah. One thing is the rates that we just explained. Bawolek also says a fascinating sub-economy is that of off-site airport parking. These are large surface lots near the airport that aren’t owned by the airport. They’re usually the purview of large corporations, because you need a lot of volume to make them work. For one thing, the operating expenses are high: Since these are often too far away to just walk to the terminal, you’ve got to have a shuttle to take parkers to and from the airport — and it better be a good shuttle! If it’s not coming through the terminal every few minutes, best of luck surviving. Then there’s the competition with the airport. They usually have the ability to charge below-market rates for a time, Bawolek says, to price the private operators out. It’s a doggy-dog world we’re living in.
    How does all this get affected by Uber and the like?

    Ride-sharing is the elephant in the room when it comes to paid parking. It’s affecting not only public and private airport parking, but airport car rental as well. And even more so, the whole concept of parking.

    Thinking ahead then, when we’re all being ferried around in self-driving cars, will there be a need for parking lots? Maybe not — in which case, the parking lot owners will figure out something else to do with the land if they’re not ready to build on it.

    Basically, whether it’s a car sitting in a single spot or a whole lot on a city block, parking, it seems, is always just a temporary occurrence: Usually an expensive one for you, a profitable one for the parking operator and a cost-covering one for the landowner.

    #Parkplatz #Business

  • Talking to Men About Their Female Role Models Is Still Like Pulling Teeth
    https://melmagazine.com/en-us/story/talking-to-men-about-their-female-role-models-still-like-pulling-teeth

    But speaking to men about their female role models is still like pulling teeth, and not only because they usually don’t consider women candidates in the first place — that’s only the first hurdle. Men often make predictable, clichéd choices — as my colleague Zaron Burnett III pointed out in 2014, fictional characters like Wonder Women and “my mother” are the most common answers — and they cite reasons that shore up traditional notions of femininity and service (“she always put us kids first”).

  • ‘Boys for Sale’ : le monde obscur de la #prostitution #gay au #Japon.
    ‘Boys for Sale’ : the dark world of gay prostitution in #Japan.

    Cet article de Julian Riall traite du documentaire « Boys For Sale » produit par Ian Thomas Ash.
    http://www.scmp.com/week-asia/society/article/2127079/boys-sale-dark-world-japans-gay-prostitution
    Publié le 07/01/2018
    Vu le 03/06/2018

    C’est à “#Tokyo #2-chome gay district” que se localisent ces activités #occultes et plus précisément dans les clubs de danse, les #sex shops, les #bars gays et les « salon d’#urisen » (l’équivalent gay des « #hostess-clubs » japonais.) Certains hommes politiques fréquentent ces lieux qui sont ainsi à la fois reconnus et inscrits dans la ville tout en étant #tabous. De plus, la loi du pays à propos de la #prostitution ne prend en compte que les relations hétérosexuelles ce qui ne rend pas ces affaires #illégales, malgré l’âge de certains des hommes de moins de 20 ans. La plupart d’entre eux proviennent de régions japonaises frappées de catastrophes naturelles (tsunami ; tremblement de terre ; accident de Fukushima en 2011).

    When we think about vulnerable communities affected by war or natural disaster, we tend to think about young women being forced to work in this sector but it never previously occurred to me that this would be happening in Japan after Fukushima.

    https://melmagazine.com/the-straight-male-sex-workers-of-japan-who-sell-their-services-to-gay-m
    _Publié le 19/07/2017
    Vu le 03/06/2018

    L’article de C. Brian Smith à propos du même sujet nous apporte des précisons. En premier lieu, même s’il est difficile de recenser un nombre de prostitués car la plupart procèdent par Internet, on estime le nombre de bars à #Shinjuku 2-chome comportant des garçons "à la carte" de 10 ou 12. D’autre part, les bars sont pour eux un lieu de vie avec des dortoirs où ils dorment à huit, ce qui fait vraiment de ces lieux un univers hors de la société japonaise et qu’elle préfère ignorer malgré les #conditions_de_vie #inacceptables de la « #communauté » de jeunes hommes.

    So we took him to a cheap family restaurant. He looked at the menu and said, “I can have anything I want? Oh, they have ice cream!” After dinner, he got an ice cream cone and was eating it like a 5-year-old kid in heaven. The whole time I was thinking, Now I’m going to bring him back to the bar so some 70- or 80-year old guy can try to rape him. That was as horrible as it was memorable.