Tim Minchin - The Good Book (Live)

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    • https://genius.com/Tim-minchin-the-good-book-lyrics

      Life is like an ocean voyage
      And our bodies are the ships
      And without a moral compass
      We would all be cast adrift

      So to keep us on our bearings
      The Lord gave us a gift
      And like most gifts you get
      It was a book

      I only read one book
      But it’s a good book, don’t you know
      I act the way I act because
      The Good Book tells me so
      If I want to know how to be good
      It’s to the Good Book that I go
      Cause the Good Book is a book
      And it is good and it’s a book
      I know the Good Book’s good because
      The Good Book says it’s good
      I know the Good Book knows it’s good
      Because a really good book would

      You wouldn’t cook without a cookbook
      And I think it’s understood
      You can’t be good without a Good Book
      Cause it’s good and it’s a book
      And it is good for cookin’

      I tried to read some other books
      But I soon gave up on that
      The paragraphs ain’t numbered
      And they complicate the facts
      I can’t read Harry Potter
      Cause they’re worshiping false gods and that
      And Dumbledore’s a poofter
      And that’s bad cause it’s not good!

      Morality is written there
      In simple white and black
      I feel sorry for you heathens
      Got to think about all that
      Good is good and evil’s bad
      And goats are good
      And pigs are crap
      You’ll find which one is which
      In the Good Book
      Cause it’s good and it’s a book
      And it’s a book (yeah!)
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      I had a cat, she gave birth to a litter
      The kittens were adorable
      And they made my family laugh
      But as they grew they started misbehaving
      So I drowned the little fuckers in the bath!
      When the creatures in your care start being menaces
      The answers can be found right there in Genesis
      Chapter six, verse five through seven! Yee-haw!

      Swing your partner by the hand
      Have a baby if you can
      But if the voices in your head
      Say to sacrifice your kid
      To satiate your loving God’s
      Fetish for dead baby blood
      It’s simple faith the book demands
      So raise that knife up in your hands

      Before the Good Book made us good
      There was no good way to know
      If a thing was good or not-not good
      Or kind of touch-and-go—so
      God decided he’d give writing
      Allegoric prose a go
      And so he wrote a book
      And it was generally well-received
      The Telegraph said ’This god is reminiscent of the Norse’
      The Times said ’Kind of turgid, but I liked the bit with horses’
      The Mail said ’Lots of massacres; a violent tour-de-force
      If you only read one book this year
      Then this one is a book
      And it is good
      And it’s a book’ Yee-haw!

      Swing your daughter by the hand
      But if she gets raped by a man
      And refuses then to marry him
      Stone her to death!

      If you just close your eyes and block your ears
      To the accumulated knowledge of the last two thousand years
      Then morally – guess what? – you’re off the hook
      And thank Christ you only have to read one book

      Just because the book’s contents
      Were written generations hence
      By hairy desert-dwelling gents
      Squatting in their dusty tents

      Just because what Heaven said
      Was said before they’d leavened bread
      Just cause Jesus couldn’t read
      Doesn’t mean that we should need

      When manipulating human genes
      To alleviate pain or fight disease
      When deciding whether it’s wrong or right
      To help the dying let go of life
      Or stop a pregnancy when it’s
      Just a tiny blastocyst
      There’s no reason why we should take a look
      At any other book
      But the Good Book
      Cause it’s good and it’s a book
      And it’s a book and it’s quite good!

      Good is good and evil’s bad
      And kids get killed when God gets mad
      You better take a good look
      At the Good Book

      #musique #humour #Tim_Minchin #religion #Bible