Attention : the business concept and the belonging steps described below are the property of Bettlerverlag, a publishing corporation under german law soon to be transferred to a more business-friendly and sunnier environment with palm trees, big cigars and lots of tropical drinks.
Imagine you want to make big money by offering public transport
at lower rates than official MTR systems.
In the beginning you will need
– an idea (haha !)
– complete lack of scruples (no problem for an average MBA)
– a bunch of young brainless idiots to adopt your idea (hey, there are plenty of them out there)
– some basic funding (just for the start, early adaptors of your idea will soon take care of necessary financial input)
Steal the code of an open source MTR app, add user subscription and payment modules.
Buy half a dozen ladders or better find half a dozen idiots who own a ladder.
Find first round investor and create a Cayman Islands Ltd. to collect your new riches.
Start marketing your app by calling it “The perfect free MTR app” or something more creative.
Offer free rides for the first week.
Place your ladder-owning idiots on the platforms of the most important MTR stations of the first city to disrupt (Make sure they have a season ticket allowing them to stay on the platform there for some time)
Use your app to route first week offer users
Use your ladder-owning idiots to help users climb on the roof of trains
Produce some video of enthusiast reactions of happy customers who use MTR for 30 per cent of the official price, let them praise the adventurous feeling of the innovative way to use the MTR
Introduce a basic monthly subscription at 30 per cent the official MTR rate and find more ladder-owning idiots and customers willing to pay less.
Blackmail public transport system operators into accepting your service (invite official journalists to MTR party with lots of drugs, alcohol and girls, have them write stuff about bad old fashioned public MTR, let them praise your consumer liberating app, bribe some city council members into criticising public MTR, they sure will find some stuff which is not working)
After having succeded these steps use second round financing to fill up your cayman wallet and attack additional cities public MTR and transport systems. Repeat the necessary steps until you have conquered the world.
optional step 1
Join forces with the universal basic income movement. They will provide lots of weird an fascinating reasons why your app is the solution to all and any transport problem in the world. Use the terms “free”, “grassroot” and “bottom up”)
optional step 2
Introduce agility. You will make more money through total control of even the smallest step towards completion of your product backlog.
Optional step 3
Refine your brand name. Make your initial errors / crimes forgotten and polish the image of your brand.
Optional step 4
Have the city council or the national parliament adopt a law to legalize and foster your business concept. Follow the example of german Gesetz zur Bevorrechtigung des Carsharing (Carsharinggesetz - CsgG).
Optional step 5
Pay no taxes.
In fact this is not optional but it did not fit into the official concept.
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