An ingenious plan: how the CIA vets the Syrian rebels
►http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/06/an-ingenious-plan-how-cia-vets-syrian.html #CIA #Syria #satire
An ingenious plan: how the CIA vets the Syrian rebels
►http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/06/an-ingenious-plan-how-cia-vets-syrian.html #CIA #Syria #satire
CIA Agent: Come in please, I’m agent Johnson and this is agent Johnson. And you are?
Syrian rebel: Mohamed Asa’ad.
CIA Agent: Asa’ad? Like the president?
Syrian rebel: No, no, in Arabic it’s different, it’s Asa’ad, not Assad.
CIA Agent: It sounds the same to me.
Syrian rebel: No, it’s Ayen, not A, say Ayen. Asa’ad.
CIA Agent: Assad.
Syrian rebel: No, you’re not doing it right. Asa’ad.
CIA Agent: ok, never mind, I’ll call you Mohamed. Would you like a beer?
Syrian rebel: No, thank you.
CIA Agent: Is that for religious reasons?
Syrian rebel: No, but it’s 9 in the morning and I have a long day ahead.
CIA Agent: So you do drink beer?
Syrian rebel: Beer, whiskey, vodka, whatever. Although I drive the tank so I have to watch my drinking.
CIA Agent: What do you think of drugs Mr…er, Mohamed?
Syrian rebel: I tried some marijuana at college but I didn’t inhale.
CIA Agent: Is that for religious reasons?
Syrian rebel: No, I got a little bit nauseous to be honest and didn’t want to look soft. Have you had any?
CIA Agent: I’m the one asking questions. So are you a jihadi?
Syrian rebel: Ha, clever one. You nearly tripped me up there.
CIA Agent: So you are?!
Syrian rebel: No, that was a joke. Do you people not get sarcasm?
CIA Agent: We are trained to respect all cultures. It’s not something we do, but we will respect your right to be sarcastic. But please keep it to a minimum because it makes our job difficult.
Syrian rebel: This is going to be harder than the mukhabrat interrogation.
CIA Agent: What does that mean?
Syrian rebel: Sarcasm again.
CIA Agent: oh, I see. So I notice you have a beard, is that because you are a salafi?
(...)
CIA Agent: No, I don’t know him either. So would you shave your beard?
Syrian rebel: I don’t know, would you grow a ponytail?
CIA Agent: It’s against CIA regulations.
Syrian rebel: Sarcasm, again. Sorry.
Karl reMarks: An Ingenious Plan: How the CIA Vets the Syrian Rebels
►http://www.karlremarks.com/2013/06/an-ingenious-plan-how-cia-vets-syrian.html